The sun was bright that morning. It was a beautiful day to go out, pull a few weeds and enjoy the fresh scents of iris and roses stirring in the air. I remember the chirping of one particular little bird. He made himself known among all the rest. I also remember thinking how happy he sounded, and how happy it made me feel to hear his praises ringing.
As I often do when pulling grass and weeds, I allowed my thoughts to turn towards friends, and family. A dear friend of mine lost her husband a couple of years ago. After moving back to her home state, she met an old co-worker of her deceased husband’s. Renewing their friendship over lunches and drives to the mountains, they soon realized their relationship had grown quite serious, and he asked her to marry him. Wedding bells ringing, I thought how nice it would be if I could attend her wedding.
I found some flowers in need of transplanting but decided it would have to wait for another day. Making a mental note, I moved on to the barns to clear grass from the few iris and yuccas I had planted the year before.
Catching a glimpse of a purple martin in flight, I pulled my work gloves off and stood in awe as it made dips and circles in the air with such grace and ease.
Moments passed too quickly. I remember thinking as I walked back to the house, “I am blessed to live in the country and have the opportunities to enjoy the wildlife, the wildflowers growing in the fields, and to hear the sounds of coyotes howling during the dusk hours.” Most of all, I was thankful for the peace and love God placed in my heart.
Once in the house, I decided to make a quick check of emails. Most were forwards from friends who had found a special site to share, a couple of business mails, and then I saw one more…..there was no greeting or salutations, obviously, this person wanted to get right to the point. I read the message. My mind whirled as if caught up in a tornado and debris flew from many directions all at one time.
Shock and disbelief would not begin to describe the emotions stirring in my heart. The venomous mail reeked of hatred and accusations. I closed the mail but the pain was more than I could bear. Tears formed as a dam about to break. I don’t know how long I sat there staring into the screen trying to understand how or why someone would write something so evil and hurting. But there it was, staring back at me.
Exhausted from the shock and buckets of tears I had shed, I finally called out to my Father. “Lord, show me what I have done to cause this, if anything.” “Reveal the hidden things in my heart that I may not even be aware of.” I continued in prayer. The birds suddenly seemed silent. Although the sun still shinned, there was a dark cloud hanging over head, yet I new that I was not alone.
I thought of the times Jesus had cried out to our Father in prayer. How many times he must have shed tears for those he loved. Yet he knew every prayer lifted to heaven was heard; and he knew nothing went unnoticed by God.
In the stillness of those moments, sweet peace enveloped me and I knew that this was not about me….that it was a cry for help. A plea to take a moment to pray for someone hurting…..hurting so much they lashed out at someone close to them, yet they knew prayer and help was on the way.
I’ve heard it said, we often hurt the ones who love us most. I wish I could say that I have seen the results of my prayers. I can’t. This one thing I do know. God is still on the throne, he has heard my prayers, and the answer is on the way. I will hold fast to that promise.